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Literature Text
it was always easy.
my mouth was a filter,
nothing went through unless it sounded like
"i'm fine"
but you look in my
kaleidoscope eyes
and make sense of the fractures inside,
see past every mirage and camouflaged sigh
revised and fabricated into every smile
of every lie
and when i give vague answers
they sound like soliloquies to you
like i'm pouring out my heart into your hands and
coughing up broken glass from all the bottles i corked
and buried with my feelings (they're shattering)
(my heart's a sandbox and
you'd only have to dig once to find something,
three year's worth of something hidden and disregarded
as nothing).
i expected you to disregard me as nothing
//that six foot hole was intended for me,
i was going to join all my loose thoughts in the sandbox-boneyard but
i guess you're not going to let that be an option for me//
i'd say don't leave
but i know you will
(say what you want, words are words are words
and you are you
but you are like the rest of them,
you're just good at pretending
pretending you're not
no you're not
you're not like them
you're not them
you're different
you understand
please don't be like them
please be different
i don't want to want to forget you
i don't want to need to forget you
i don't want you to forget me
don't leave please
don't
l eav e)
march 5, 2017
my mouth was a filter,
nothing went through unless it sounded like
"i'm fine"
but you look in my
kaleidoscope eyes
and make sense of the fractures inside,
see past every mirage and camouflaged sigh
revised and fabricated into every smile
of every lie
and when i give vague answers
they sound like soliloquies to you
like i'm pouring out my heart into your hands and
coughing up broken glass from all the bottles i corked
and buried with my feelings (they're shattering)
(my heart's a sandbox and
you'd only have to dig once to find something,
three year's worth of something hidden and disregarded
as nothing).
i expected you to disregard me as nothing
//that six foot hole was intended for me,
i was going to join all my loose thoughts in the sandbox-boneyard but
i guess you're not going to let that be an option for me//
i'd say don't leave
but i know you will
(say what you want, words are words are words
and you are you
but you are like the rest of them,
you're just good at pretending
pretending you're not
no you're not
you're not like them
you're not them
you're different
you understand
please don't be like them
please be different
i don't want to want to forget you
i don't want to need to forget you
i don't want you to forget me
don't leave please
don't
l eav e)
march 5, 2017
Literature
NaPoWriMo 2020 06: Shimmer
August rains
and I came and went
and came and went,
clinking wine bottles
over prickly steps
and palming imprints
on your blankets.
I stayed for an evening's satiation
and left through the back door.
You thought perhaps I'd linger,
but I prefer to miss you, love,
from a distance,
from miles away at home.
I heard your kettle whistle
in a dream, even caught
the candlescent
as you recited psalms
for the souls drifting past
your shuttered window.
I know somewhere you still
dance your hair into artful disarray,
and I toss and turn some nights
to the music you might play.
April hits and elsewhere it is spring,
but here there
Literature
Summer Evenings
It is,
The whisper of a leaf about to bud,
Framing the spring rose
tucked behind your ear.
It is,
A late-night stroll,
Wind ripples through the rustles of grass
Humming along to the song of falling stars.
It is
Balancing yourself carefully,
Lithely dancing across the narrow beam
On the overgrown, barnyard fence.
It is,
A scandalous burst of lemon,
Lips twist into a sour grimace-
An ironic sweetness.
Literature
sometimes i am
sometimes i am a little bird singing to you from a wooden box fragile colorful and small sometimes i am a roaring river carving my way through the earth wild foaming and reckless. sometimes i am stained glass pieces of a shattered church window broken sharp and scattered. and sometimes i am only bones water and atoms and i do not know what to make of myself.
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i used to be secure in knowing this couldn't apply to you but of course i found a way to mess that up too. i'm sorry i don't know how to stop thinking i know you think overthinking is stupid and believe me, i hate it just as much as you
(if i could turn it off i swear i would).
alternative title: panic's expectations to mirror past
(if i could turn it off i swear i would).
alternative title: panic's expectations to mirror past
© 2017 - 2024 xfuture-boundx
Comments13
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I relate to this so much
I
Wow
Thank you xx <3
This is beautiful
I
Wow
Thank you xx <3
This is beautiful